HEY BESTIE: I have really bad anxiety, will it impact my relationship?

I’ve suffered from anxiety since I was a kid. I never felt the need to get medicated and I don’t think it’s all that bad. My partner however has told me on numerous occasions that my anxiety is “off the charts” and that it’ll be the ruin of our relationship. So, my question to you is why is nxiety problematic for relationships and how do I go about lowering my anxiety for the benefit of my relationship?

Anxiety can pose significant challenges for relationships. It often leads to communication difficulties, as individuals may struggle to express their feelings and needs clearly, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts with their partner. Moreover, anxiety can foster feelings of insecurity and jealousy, straining trust and creating tension between partners.

Individuals with anxiety may also engage in overthinking and rumination, constantly worrying about the relationship and doubting its stability. This cycle of negative thinking can be exhausting and detrimental to the relationship’s quality. Additionally, anxiety may lead to avoidance behaviours, such as withdrawing from social interactions or intimacy, further hindering emotional closeness.

So, as you can see, there’s quite a few areas in which anxiety has the potential to negatively impact a relationship. If your partner feels as though your anxiety is ‘off the charts’, have you asked why they feel this way?

Have you taken the time to reflect on this? Have you taken the time to seek professional guidance around how you display and manage your own symptoms of anxiety? These are just a few things to consider doing.

To lower anxiety for the benefit of your relationship, it’s important to first develop self-awareness. Recognize and acknowledge your anxiety triggers and patterns of behaviour within the relationship.

Open communication with your partner about your anxiety is crucial. Share your feelings and concerns and work together to find ways to support each other.

Establishing healthy boundaries with your partner can also help reduce sources of stress and anxiety. Incorporating mindfulness and relaxation techniques into your routine, such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga, can help calm the mind and body.

Seeking support from a therapist or counsellor who specializes in anxiety and relationships can provide you with coping strategies, tools, and support to manage your anxiety effectively.

Prioritize self-care activities that promote your physical, emotional, and mental well-being, such as regular exercise, adequate sleep, and spending time with supportive friends and family.

Challenge negative thoughts and beliefs that contribute to your anxiety, replacing them with more balanced perspectives.

If your anxiety significantly impacts your daily life and relationships, consider seeking professional treatment, such as therapy or medication, to address underlying anxiety disorders.

Because after all, please remember that managing anxiety is an ongoing process, requiring patience and self-compassion as you work towards cultivating a healthier relationship with your partner.

Your Bestie,

Amanda x

Amanda Lambros is a sexologist and relationship coach with almost two decades of experience who takes pride in her “no b-s” approach to solving your problems. She is also a certified speaking professional and has written several books on relationships, health and business which have sold more than 150,000 copies.

Do you have a question for Amanda? Email heybestie@wanews.com.au (don’t worry, we won’t publish your name!)