Opinion: Why the crab just won’t grab

I UNDERSTAND that there is a move for Mandurah to have a giant crab.

A crab?

If Mandurah runs true to form, I can just picture a huge heap of rusty formless steel, or a plastic monstrosity being named “Mandurah’s Giant Crab”.

As pointless as the formless rusty thing, the so-called Tuart branch and Seashell at the Mandurah rail station.

The City fathers were hoodwinked on that one.

Just like the Chinese-made train station Wagyl Serpent overpass, it had to be rebuilt on site by real engineers to meet Australian safety standards.

Like the rainbow serpent, the foot bridge is as mythical as the pedestrians that supposedly use it.

Art – if it is all a matter of personal taste, then yuk !

Like modernist music and art, these eyesores leave much to be desired.

As for the hideous, mind-boggling, “what were they thinking” entry statement “The Scoop”, good grief.

The statement surely was “Us Mandurah people really know our stuff about art”, when in fact it seems we know stuff all.

I vote we contact “Steptoe and Son” and get him to take the scrap metal for recycling.

Harold (the son), would of course think he has got a bargain, but his Dad would have some classic derogatory quip about Harold’s modernist tastes.

I also put the Forrest Place (as it rightly should still be called), hideous cactus green thing in the same category: out of place and out of their bleedin’ minds.

If the crab notion sees the light of day, will we see a big blue solitary plastic claw with two stalked eyes sitting on top?

FRANK HILL,

Mandurah.