WHAT words can I use to describe Robbie Williams that haven’t been said already?
He’s cheeky, irreverent, rude, crude and sexy in a ‘wink, wink, nudge’ way, just don’t call him old.
In his own words his behaviour on stage at Perth Arena on Wednesday night would land him as the talk of the morning shows in England, but the Perth audience lapped it up.
Beginning as he intended to go on, he started the Perth Arena show with a flash of his “c*ck” covered by tight underwear.
I tried to count how many times he said the word “c*ck” or “t*ts”, but once my count hit 20 I gave up.
I also lost count of how many times he flashed the audience.
The show opened with the “Robbie Anthem” with statements flashing on the big screen like “Robbie is well hung” and “Robbie swings both ways”.
It was followed by the man himself performing pop anthem Let Me Entertain You which set the tone for the rest of the concert.
A fourth flash accompanied the man introducing himself, his band and his “c*ck”.
He again referenced his genitals in the introduction to a cover of George Michael’s Freedom.
“If God gave me one c*ck to suck it would be my own,” he said.
“A second and it would be George Michael’s; you missed out George.”
The show was littered with his cheeky humour.
In response to a sign saying ‘I beat cancer for you’, he said “you think that’s bad? There’s a three hour time delay from (his previous show in) Adelaide”.
The next performances were littered with profanity-laden anecdotes about his daughter and son.
He also referred to a bunch of Australian illegitimate children created during previous tours.
“I’ve been coming to Australia for a long time,” Williams said.
“So what I’m saying is if there’s a 15-year-old with green eyes who likes getting his arse out…”
The audience were challenged to give as much energy to the adoration as Wiliams gave to his performance.
They were challenged to a sing-a-long of Livin on a Prayer, You’re the Voice, Rehab, Simply the Best and Kiss by Tom Jones.
He spoke to four middle aged women in the crowd who had attended every concert in New Zealand and Australia.
Their threats to flash their breasts was met with a challenge from Williams.
“You can’t threaten you get your t*ts out then not get your t*ts out,” he said.
By the end of the show they had made good on their threat, giving the crowd an eye full on the big screen.
Williams labelled himself a “cashed up bogan” to the delight of the crowd.
“I feel like I can be myself in Australia,” he said.
But it was Lisa pulled from the crowd who had the best night.
Williams serenaded her with Something Stupid – a duet originally performed with Australian actress Nicole Kidman.
Lisa got a cuddle, copped a grope and got a selfie.
This performance was followed by hits Millennium and Come Undone.
Another highlight was when Williams brought his father on stage.
The duo performed a cover of Neil Diamond’s Sweet Caroline together; it was easy to see where Williams’ performing genes come from.
Williams had a go at a newspaper in Sydney who described him as a “veteran entertainer” and made references to his advancing age and back problems.
However, the bad boy of pop still exhibits all the energy of his earlier performances, but his skills as an “entertainer” have only improved.
His shows are hilarious and he could easily take up a career in stand up comedy.
Williams finished his show with the ballad Angels, but a screaming crowd brought him back for encore performances of the “Australian National
Anthem” Down Under and Frank Sinatras My Way.
He left with a promise he and his “c*ck” would be back in Australia soon.