Imagine being independent and capable for most of your life, and then find your own children are trying to do things for you, taking care of you, limiting you.
We can find ourselves in conflict with our ageing parents, because we know they need support – but they’re sure as heck not going to accept it!
Or perhaps they only want YOU to help – not some stranger they have to pay.
In effect, you’re experiencing role reversal, but you still want your parents to be your parents, to be independent, wise and capable.
Both you and they can sense these strengths sliding away, and they’ll do anything they can to hold onto them.
Pushing away help is understandable.
So put them back in charge.
Present the options to them and let them decide.
Offer support that doesn’t take away their independence, but increases it.
And draw on the abilities and knowledge they still have.
Equally important is your wellbeing, and you will need to maintain boundaries, just as your parents did with you.
Resist being drawn into a situation that doesn’t work for you, out of guilt or financial worries.
Support is available to everyone, no matter what their financial means.
And your parents now have a lot more choice and control over their services, thanks to the ‘consumer-directed care’ model now implemented within the home care sector.
Search for “home care services” in Google and find out what funding and services your mum or dad is eligible for.
They can start with a little bit of help around the house and build up from there.
The sooner you do this, the better.
Once they’re ‘in the system’, it’s much easier to get further help and advice down the track.