That was how Rebecca Kolodenski described the aftermath of losing her six-month baby boy to SIDS.
Brock was born on February, 2011 at 28 weeks gestation. He grew and made progress so Mrs Kolodenski was able to take him home.
Sadly, he was only home for 63 days before he passed away.
‘I remember June 23rd, 2011; it was a cold, wet day just like any other day,’ Mrs Kolodenski said. ‘Time to get up for our morning bath and morning feed before our day was about to start.
‘As I walked into his room I could hear a silence of something I’ll never forget.
‘As I looked into his bassinet and saw him laying there with no movement of air.
‘My baby boy who had overcome all hurdles before him had just slipped away.
‘There were cries and screams and the all-over numbness feeling that a part of me had just been taken away.’
Every year on June 23, Mrs Kilodenski burns candles and looks at Brock’s photos.
Last year on Brock’s birthday, Mrs Kolodenski found out she was pregnant.
Her ‘rainbow baby’ Matilda is now seven months old.
This Friday (June 27) is Red Nose Day. Mrs Kolodenski plans to skydive at the Pinjarra drop zone to raise money for SIDS and Kids.
The charity is dedicated to saving the lives of babies and children during pregnancy, birth, infancy and childhood and supporting bereaved families.