How the dishes can save your soul

The dishes. Soul savers. Photo: Getty
The dishes. Soul savers. Photo: Getty

I’M coming to lean on the dishes more and more.

What I mean is, I love doing the dishes. I feel the dishes are saving me money in therapy.

Not stacking the dishwasher – which is a poor, barefoot cousin of ‘doing the dishes’.

One dad asks the question … is parenthood overrated?

No sir, I like a sink full of hot soapy water, a scourer or two and some baked-on grease.

I’d use the word ‘meditative’, but I hate it.

From the kitchen window I can see a tree in the corner of my backyard.

It’s a melaleuca tree, precisely what species I’m not sure.

The man I asked to give me a quote for killing it told me it was a melaleuca tree, only now that I’ve got a name for it – coupled with the fact he wanted to charge me $750 – I want to kill it less.

A tree man, but not the tree man I asked for the quote. Photo: Getty

This wasn’t planned, this quote. I had aimed my treadly towards work when I saw tree man’s ute parked out front.

I called out to him and even though every fibre of his being didn’t want to get out his ute to give me a quote, give me a quote he did.

He was a man who had his work day largely mapped out and didn’t need another man adding to his load. I get it.

He wrote the price on a business card I know I’ll never see again.

The problem with this melaleuca tree is it drops all these tiny little leaves everywhere which clog up the gutters and get inside your shirts when they’re on the line.

I feel trees, like dishes, start to mean more as you get older.

Walking with a friend after the Perth Glory game last Saturday night, a couple of middle-aged spreads in checked shirts that resembled a slow-moving table cloth, he made the casual remark: “How f**kin’ good are these trees dude?”

“My whole life I was surrounded by excellent trees, and it’s like only now I’m starting to see them.”

A random tree I found on Getty. Photo: Getty

So it wasn’t exactly Kant, but for a couple of beer swillers from the suburbs who’ve known each other since they were 10, I thought it was pretty deep.

“I know mate,” I said. “Trees are the f**kin’ bomb.”

Like those leaning trees on the way to Geraldton, the ones that have been blown over, hideously misshapen.

But they persevere.

What annoys me is when you’re trying to get the toilet roll started, but the toilet roll doesn’t want to get started.

You pull that little flap they leave up for you, but it doesn’t come away clean and you’re forced to do several laps of the roll with shreds until you get it going properly. Who knows how many sheets are lost?

These are some of the things I will examine in my new role as Community News’ domestic drudgery editor.

Also by Greig Johnston:

Something terrible is happening to Tom Cruise

Why we’d all be better off on bikes

How long until gambling ads go up in smoke? 

Get in touch:

greig.johnston@communitynews.com.au